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Quick Takes:
From The Sublime To The Ridiculous

Boys Will Be Boys
(Courtesy Angela Dean)
August 1685 Sergt. Jeremiah Judson, son of William Judson, was born in England in 1621, he was 18 years of age when he came to Stratford, CT with his father in 1639.  He married first 1652 Sarah Foote and second Katherine widow of Thomas Fairchild, Sr.  His son, Jeremiah, when 16, with William Hunnywell, faced this court sentence:

"These lads, with two others, were prosecuted at the Fairfield County Court, August 1685, for 'stealing watermilions, the last Thursday in the night about the going down of the mone,' from Benjamin Lewis's yard.
They confessed having taken two melons, - for which they were fined eleven shillings, costs and damages; and for 'night walking' were fined in addition, ten shillings each, or in default of payment, to sit in the stocks.  They petitioned for a remission of the latter penalty, which was granted." (Col. Rec. of Conn. Vol. 3 page 197) SOURCE:  HISTORY OF STRATFORD CT 1639-1969 by Wm. Howard Wilcoxson..."The First Settlers" pages 108 & 109

A Boston Enquiry Of The Ladies, 1722

Any Young Gentlewoman (Virgin or Widow) That is minded to dispose of her self in Marriage to a well accomplish'd Young Widower, and has five or six hundred Pounds to secure to him by Deed of Gifts, she may repair to the Sign of the Glass-Lantern, in Steeple-Square, and find all the Encouragement she can reasonably desire.

A Little Murky, But We Think Mrs. Eaton Declined To "Lyeth" With The Governor, or at least so it was said.  Translation?
(Courtesy Angela Dean)
"At court unusual charges were sometimes scattered through mundane issues:"

The . . .chardge was, Goody Ball saith that Mr. Pery writ  that Mrs. Eaton had not lyen wth the Governour, when he should have writ that she denyed as she said. 

Allen Ball saith that at Mr. Pery's second coming he said that he had said it to severall that Mrs. Eaton denyed to lye wth the Govrnr, but that would nothing advantadg Mrs. Brewster.

Dorithy Ball saith that Mr. Pery said, he would not denny that he said she denyed to lye but if any said that he said she denyed conjugall fellow, he must have put ym to prove it.
The Proprietors of Ridgefield CT by Glenna M. Welsh, "Lawes, Letters, Memorials & Quotes" page 111 & 113. Hoadly, op. cit., p. 269.

Oct. 1, 1736, In The News From London.
Early Yesterday Morning, as a Chimney-Sweeper was sweeping a Chimney at Mr. Boyd's, the Woolpack at Paddington, about half-way up the Chimney the Boy met an Obstruction, and putting his Hand up to feel what stopt him, took hold of the Leg of a Man, which frighted him so much that he come down immediately, and could scarce be kept from falling into Fits, immediately after, the Body of a Man quite smoak dry'd tumbled down: By the Appearance it made, it must have been there several Months, and it's thought to have been some Thief that endeavour'd to come down the Chimney to rob the House.

From Boston:

1640 One Edward Palmer for asking an excessive price for a pair of stocks which he, himself was hired to frame, had the privelege of sitting in them himself for an hour.

Captain Stone is sentenced to pay L100 and prohibited coming within the patent without the governor's leave, upon pain of death for calling Mr. Ludlow (a magistrate) a "Justass." We infer the punishment must have been inflicted more for the joke than the offence.

From Halifax: